Gandolf the cat has a ritual: Every night he steps on the roof and cries until we give up and let him into our apartment. We always try to avoid it, you’ll soon know why, but Gandolf is made out of stubbornness.

First thing you should know is, Gandolf doesn’t live here. He lives at my parents’ house, next door. But he wants to come to us, and he wants to come through the bedroom’s window. No matter how many  doors my dad opens for him when he starts his obsessive whining, Gandolf won’t set for anything other than the little window over our heads.

Wen we finally surrender and open it, he jumps down from the roof, hops on the window and steps into the left side of the window frame.

Then he jumps.

It is never the right side or the center. It is ALWAYS the left, and he always lands on my head.

And that’s when the party begins. Gandolf strides on our faces, wets our ears with his nose, roams on the bed, go in and out of the blanket, pokes us with his one specifically assigned fingernail and pushes his unkempt ass in our noses.

He is known for it. In fact, during the last 12 years that he’s been living with our family he diligently built his reputation as the most awkward, obnoxious, annoying and inconvenient cat ever. He is laser sharp when it comes to spotting opportunities to disturb and he extracts the most out of them.

You want to cook? Gandolf will lick your spices containers. You want to work? Gandolf will jump on your keyboard, activate your printer, drop your mouse, push down your web cam and pull out USB cables with his strangely shaped tail.

He has his own litter box, yet he comes to our place to use the litter box of our own cat.

He has special medical food, but he wants our cat’s dietetic kind.

He has water bowls everywhere he goes, yet he insists on drinking from the toilet.

I can easily fill up five pages with Gandolf’s unbearable habits, but i’ll leave it at this because, as I said, I’m exhausted. Having both Gandolf and our own fat cat with us in bed resulted in a nerve wrecking night. Now i’m going to make myself a third cup of coffee and try not to crush on my desk.